The Power and Impotence of Choice

One of life’s mysteries is the interplay between the power and impotence of choice. It is a mystery. We all make choices in our lives with limited understanding and these choices overflow in circumstances beyond our control. I choose my wife (and she chooses me) with a limited knowledge of who she is and who she will become. We have children with no knowledge of who they are or who they will become. I choose a profession or a job with impartial knowledge of what it will require of me or who I will work with. I follow God’s leading with an incomplete picture of where each road will take me. Every decision spills out consequences that go beyond my ability to control. Yet, these decisions (and many others) define so much of the kind of life we’ll live. They limit us and challenge us; encourage and bless us; lead to joy and pain; triumph and failure. How we view the purpose of our lives or what gives life meaning will impact how we navigate the uncontrolled nature of our lives. Do we move on from the “consequences” of our choices? From our spouses or children or jobs? Do we question God’s goodness when we run into a dead end or when decisions don’t end up the way we expected? Certainly, there isn’t only one answer to these questions. Life is too complicated for a trite truism that can be applied to every decision in the web of life’s choices and consequences.

But, the underlying question, that which fuels our responses, is what makes life meaningful in the long run (not just the moment). I believe there is meaning and purpose in facing the unintended circumstances of our lives with humility and an eye for the other, not just myself. For the truth is, I limit those in this world who choose or inherited me; those who chose or were born into loving me. What would happen if they put their desires, and love of self, above their commitment to love me in all my brokenness? To extend grace? To choose patience over immediate personal gain? What would my life be if Christ put his commitment to his own personal holiness, what is “best” for him, above his commitment to love me in my wanderings and in my sin?

What gives meaning and purpose to life? On some level, the answer to this mystery must be found in the love of others; whose lives keep me from my own imaginations (and delusions) of what “would be best;” whose foibles and failures distract me from achieving my own perceptions of “self-fulfillment;” whose existence require me to work to love them with the type of love I need and truly desire from others and from my God. Lord, lift my vision above the distractions of my self-centered delusions, to the heights of your great love!